Monday, April 27, 2015

My sweet Delilah

I'm sorry to say that we finally had to put my sweet girl, Delilah, our Border Collie, down this morning. She was having seizures and not eating. We didn't want her suffering, so we made the extremely difficult decision. I wanted to be there for her, but I didn't know if I had the strength to be there. Then I went outside to tell her good bye and I knew I couldn't leave her. In the few minutes I had to tell her good bye, I remembered so many wonderful things. Sharing my pillow and my side of the bed with her, the way she would ask my permission to be close to me, they way she hid in the corner when she stole food that wasn't hers, the way she watched over my daughter when she was a baby, the way she always trusted me and the way she stayed close when she didn't feel good. I've had dogs my whole life, but Delilah was the first dog that gave herself to me and became MY dog. We had an instant connection. She knew I was going to let her sleep with me, give her table scraps, pet her to sleep, and let her manipulate my hand to her head. And I knew she would ask me, in her way, if it was ok to do all those things. Even though we both knew it was going to happen, she needed me to know that she didn't expect it and that she had my blessing. She was my pet, my friend and my guardian angel. She would leave the room if I got upset or uttered a cuss word, which made me more aware of tone and language. She went outside when the kids were too wild, so I would know she wasn't scared. When I cried she snuggled up next to me and gave me kisses or just put her head on my lap. She seemed to always know what I needed and in return she got my love and attention, well and snacks too! There is a kids cartoon about finding a dog their perfect person. Well, I know today that I was Delilah's perfect person. Somehow she knew how much doggie love and attention each one of us needed and gave just that much, never too much and never not enough. So when the time came, I didn't think I could handle it, but I looked into her beautiful brown eyes and knew I had to be there for her, as she had been there for me (for 15 years). Most people know that pets are part of our families, but every now and then a pet is a such an amazing gift from God and they fill our hearts so there are no empty places. I will miss my sweet Delilah more than even I know. I will miss this non verbal, but highly expressive innocent and pure soul. But through my tears and pain, how could I feel anything, other than blessed for having Delilah in my life. Your soul is free now, to run and play and feel the wind in your face. You take a piece of my heart with you, but it will always be filled with the love you leave behind. I love you, my sweet Delilah.

1 comment:

  1. WOW Micelle, You have me in tears. I know the pain and grief you are going through. I have been there too many times to count. Your tender and heartfelt story reminds me of the many pets that I was blessed to have in my life and the pain of losing them washes over me as read this. Although they are gone from our sight they are never gone from our hearts. God Bless you for Being able to put your grief into words and sharing Delilah's story with us.